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New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love | The Onion –

New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love | The Onion –

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Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises | The Onion –

Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises | The Onion –

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Increasing Number Of Americans Unable To Point Out Map | The Onion –

Increasing Number Of Americans Unable To Point Out Map | The Onion –

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Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers | The Onion –

Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers | The Onion –

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World’s Scientists Admit They Just Don’t Like Mice | The Onion –

World’s Scientists Admit They Just Don’t Like Mice | The Onion –

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Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source | Onion News Network

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New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users’ Ears | The Onion

New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users’ Ears | The Onion

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U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths | The Onion –

U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths | The Onion –

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American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers

American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers

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North Dakota Found To Be Harboring Nuclear Missiles

North Dakota Found To Be Harboring Nuclear Missiles