This post is actually a few weeks in coming, but I can finally announce that I have accepted a new job, a position with HealthPartners, as their Digital Accessibility Lead. I’m really excited to have this opportunity because I feel that I can continue making a real difference in the accessibility of healthcare and based on my own past experiences, I know how incredibly important that is. I actually held this same position once before as a contractor, and so for the first time ever, I’m also a bit of a boomerang. 🙂
What I really wanted to write about today though is *why* I decided to change jobs. Indeed my former employer offered excellent pay, fantastic benefits, and being able to work remotely — from just about anywhere in the US — was a definite plus. The thing is, I just wasn’t happy and wasn’t feeling very fulfilled on a personal level. This came to a head for me when I looked at my calendar for an up-coming two-eek period and realized that it contained nothing that would bring me any kind of joy. At first, I felt guilty about feeling this way. After all, I was very fortunate to have had such a great job, was working with great colleagues, and I certainly had nothing to complain about where pay and benefits were concerned. Not being happy though is a very powerful thing and I started to realize that it was impacting my non-work life in addition to my work one. This made sense to me when I considered that I spend more time working than doing anything else in life, arguably including sleeping. I realize that work can’t always be fun and games, but upon realizing that the thing that consumes the most time in my life was no longer making me happy, I realized that it was time to make a change, even if that change could be a difficult one.
I held off publishing this post for a while because I wanted to give myself some time to evaluate whether this job change would really solve the problem of how I was feeling and I can honestly say that it has. Sure this new role will have its challenges and there will be aspects that will cause their own struggles, but isn’t that the case with every job? Ultimately though, I am happier and being happier at work means I’m happier in life. I’m finding that I’m calmer, I’m more optimistic, I feel able to more easily face challenges both professionally and personally, and I actually look forward to going to work after the weekend.
If I could say one thing to my readers based on this experience it would be to never feel guilty about how you feel. I realize that changing jobs isn’t an easy thing, and it may not even be a practical thing, but none of that invalidates whatever you may be feeling. The logistics of finding a job, interviewing, being turned down for positions, interviewing again, debating whether or not to take a pay cut — and ultimately taking one, were certainly challenges, but for me, the biggest and hardest challenge was taking that very first step and admitting to myself that I needed to make a change. The way I figure it, I can’t be authentic with the world until I’m OK being authentic with myself, and that realization alone is proof enough that I made the right decision for me.